Aru Akuma no Shitsuji no Monogatari Koibito
by necronekochan
Summary: Completely insane crossover fanfic with lots of random pairings and crackness. Rated M for later chapters. Includes: Kuroshitsuji, Black Rock Shooter, Bakemonogatari, Death Note, Crimson Spell and Pandora Hearts. Working on this with my friend.
1. Made by Three Seconds

This is the beginning of an incredibly long, awesome, pure crack, crossover fanfiction. It includes: Kuroshitsuji, Black Rock Shooter, Death Note, Bakemonogatari, Crimson Spell, and Pandora Hearts.

The meaning of the title is "a Story of an Earl, his Demon Butler, and His Lover."

It also contains yaoi, yuri, and het. and a whole lot of stuff we just randomly came up with.

* * *

CHAPTER 1

Ciel Phantomhive yawned slightly, as he slowly inched himself over to the edge of the bed. He glanced to either side, disappointed at the lack of his butler.

"Sebastian!" He called in an irritable and disapproving tone. Ciel was about to call for his butler again when the black-haired butler rounded the corner and entered his room.

"Apologies, young master, there was an important phone call for you." He said, pouring tea into a delicate china cup.

"Today you are having Earl Grey Tea." Sebastian said calmly, handing the cup to Ciel. He bent down onto one knee and started unbuttoning Ciel's nightshirt.

"What call could be so important that you'd disobey your master?" Ciel asked sternly, his dark blue eyes keeping steady on Sebastian's figure.

"It was from Japan." Sebastian spoke in his normal stoic tone. Ciel's eyebrows raised slightly at the word,

"Japan? What do they want with us?" He mumbled.

"It's not what they want with us, the Queen wants us to assist them." Sebastian explained. Ciel looked surprised for a moment,

"with what?"

"Apparently there is someone murdering criminals all over the world." He stated simply.

"And what's wrong with that? Criminals are filthy humans who deserve to die." Sebastian gave him a hard stare.

"The Queen ordered us to assist in their investigation. It is your job to do what she wishes, you do remember that, correct?" His tone was so stern, that Ciel felt his stomach churning a little.

"Of course, I am the Queen's loyal watchdog. Where will we start? Do they know anything so far?" He asked, glancing down as Sebastian tied a bow around his neck.

"The killer has been given the name Kira. They say he is located in Kanto, Japan, and the Queen fears he may go into hiding in England." He avowed.

"And how exactly does he commit all of these widespread murders?" Ciel asked in a skeptical tone.

"The Death Note. It's a notebook with otherworldly properties. It is a rare artifact that Shinigami use to kill people. If you write a persons name in the Death Note, they will die."

"Shinigami? Like Grell?" Ciel mumbled, not wanting to remember his incident with the crazy Shinigami.

"Not exactly. There are two different kinds of Shinigami. Shinigami like Grell are in charge of collecting souls, while other Shinigami are in charge of killing humans. The other main difference is their ancestors. Grell's ancestors come from angels. Whilst the other Shinigami came from Demons." Sebastian said, standing back up and eyeing over his work.

"I see. So where are we going to start?" Ciel asked, following Sebastian's lead and standing onto his feet.

"The head investigator is coming to meet with us today, along with his comrades." Sebastian informed him, leading him to his office.

"They will be here just after noon." Ciel sat down on his chair and sighed quietly to himself. He glanced out a large window that stood behind him. He noticed two figures talking in the garden. One was wearing a maid's outfit, and had bright pink hair. The other figure was unfamiliar to Ciel, as it had short, black hair, and was much shorter than Mey-Rin.

"Sebastian."

"Yes my Lord?" Sebastian responded as usual.

"Go fetch me Mey-Rin, and bring her friend with her." He mumbled. Sebastian knelt down,

"yes, my lord." He said obediently, then got back up and walked out of the room. Ciel didn't have to wait long until the two figures in the garden disappeared. He turned his attention back towards the door, and glanced down at the papers on his desk every so often. It wasn't much longer until Sebastian returned.

"Y-you asked for me, young master?" Mey-Rin asked in her usual skittish tone, lowering herself slightly.

"Mey-Rin, in case I have never told you this before, you are not permitted to bring guests onto the Phantomhive estate without my permission." He said sternly, his voice raising slightly to make his point clear.

"You," he said, turning to the other girl.

"What's your name?" he asked, glaring at her.

"K-kuroi Mato!" She stuttered.

"I'm sorry, but I am here on a field trip, and I got separated from my class! I was asking her for directions!" She continued, her voice wavering a little.

"Sebastian, serve us breakfast, and then make sure she finds her group." He ordered, Sebastian nodded in response, turned and left.

Mato sat at the opposite end of the table from Ciel. Sebastian stepped into the room.

"bocchan, for breakfast today I have prepared English muffins and apple pancakes, with New Moon Drop Tea.." He placed a thin china plate in front of his master, and poured him a cup of tea. The butler went to the other end of the table and approached their guest. "Would you like tea or coffee, my lady?"

"Um!" Mato blushed, "Tea's fine!"

Ciel glared at Mato. "Sebastian!" he barked. "This is an order. Find this girl's group as fast as possible."

"Yes, my lord," Sebastian said, bowing to his master. He quickly walked out the door.

Ciel and Mato ate in silence. Mato would occasionally glance up at Ciel while she was eating. Just as Mato was finishing her plate, Sebastian returned.  
"My lady, your group has been found. The maid is serving them tea in the parlor."

Ciel's eyes widened. "What?" he turned to Sebastian. "Maylene's serving them tea?"

Sebastian smiled. "Yes. Is that a problem?"

"Of course." Ciel glared at his butler.

"I apologize, my lord, I shall stop her at once."

Mato watched all this with wide eyes. "u-um... should I come too? To join up with my group, I mean," she said quickly.

Sebastian nodded. "Follow me," he said. Mato nodded. They both left the room.

Ciel leaned back in his chair.


	2. L

Chapter two~ from now on the chapters will be named off the songs we chose to fit the plot of each chapter. This one is L's theme A from Death Note.

* * *

Chapter Two

Ciel was sitting at the desk in his office, going through some paperwork to have a new series of toy trains made. There was a knock on the door.

"Bocchan," Sebastian looked in through the open door. "Your guests have arrived."

Ciel put down his pen and stretched his arms. "All right."

Sebastian led Ciel through the halls of the mansion. They stepped through the doors, into the dining room. Ciel tensed as he noticed one of the detectives. He was hunched over, and wearing a white shirt and denim jeans.

Ciel eyed the way the man sat, hunched over, with his bare feet on the expensive fabric of the chair. He gritted his teeth, and his fingers tightened into a fist.

"Hello, Ciel Phantomhive," the man said. "I am L. However, you may call me Ryuzaki."

"Could you please get your feet off my chair, "Ryuzaki"?" Ciel asked, trying to be polite.

"If I sit 'normally' my deduction abilities decrease by about 62%," L said. Ciel's eyes narrowed and there was a moment of silence.

"Ryuzaki, please sit with your feet on the floor," a young man with light brown hair said.

L contemplated this for a moment. "...alright..." he stood up and sat down normally.

A blonde man in tight leather pants cleared his throat. "Can we _please_ get started? I have somewhere I need to be." An albino kid nodded in agreement.

"Yes," the young man who had convinced Ryuzaki to sit normally said. "My name is Light Yagami, and this is Mello, and Near." He said, and pointing the other two detectives out.  
"We're here to help you solve the Kira case."

"I'm Ciel Phantomhive, and this is my butler, Sebastian," he pointed at Sebastian. There was another awkward pause.

"So far, we believe that Kira is located in the Kanto region of Japan. He is killing off criminals at an alarming rate," Near said in a monotone. He was playing with the arm of his robot, which Ciel recognized as one of the more recent Funtom toys.

"That was mentioned in the phone call," Ciel said impatiently. "What do you have so far?"

"Kira is a childish person who hates to lose," L told Ciel. "He has a warped sense of justice, and he thrives on this." Ciel was glancing back and forth between each detective. Ryuzaki and Near both had unusual "panda-like" eyes. Mello's expression was similar to his own, a look that said he didn't really want to be here. As for Light, he seemed to be staring intently at Ryuzaki.

"Is that really all you know about him?" Ciel asked.

"We know what he uses to commit these murders is," Light said. He pulled a black notebook out of his briefcase, and slid it across the table.

Ciel caught it. "What's this?"

"The Death Note," Light smiled. "Open the cover, it's all explained."

Ciel opened the cover and read out loud "How to use it: The human whose name is written in this note shall die." Ciel paused, and looked up at the group. "Are you serious?" he asked. Mello glanced away, his face had an uncomfortable expression.

"If you need proof, look behind you." Light said. Ciel slowly turned his head around so he was looking over his shoulder. He found himself staring at a rather grotesque figure, who was eating an apple. Sebastian followed Ciel's motion, and paused briefly before speaking.

"A shinigami."

"Well. at least it's not Grell." Ciel shook his head and turned back around.

"How did you come to obtain this Death Note?" He asked, skimming through the fragile, dog-eared pages of the Death Note.

"We took it from a man who proved to be Kira," L said.

"If he proved to be Kira, why are we still looking for him?" Ciel asked.

"There is more than one Kira," Light explained.

"How do you know?" Ciel questioned.

"Well, since the killings continued after the man was arrested, it's only logical that there is more than one." Commented the youngest of the four investigators, who was still in the back playing with his funtom robot. Ciel nodded, seeming to have found all the answers he was looking for.

"So where are we going to start with our investigation?"

"We would like you to come to Japan with us," L said. Ciel looked at Sebastian. "Cancel my appointments until then," he ordered.

"Haaah... I suppose you will have to miss out on these top quality dancing lessons with Madame Hemmington..." Seeing his master's glare, Sebastian trailed off, smiling. "Of course, bocchan." Ciel turned back, and eyed over the investigators one last time before disappearing into the doorway. Mello was looking back at him with an intent stare that made Ciel's stomach churn.


	3. Lollipop Luxury

ATTENTION: THIS IS WHY WE RATED THE FANFIC M. the title song is Lollipop Luxury by Jeffree Star. The explicit version.

* * *

Chapter Three

CIel was rudely awaken by someone's hand shaking him awake. He moved to slap them across the face but his hand was restrained. This was followed by a black glove covering his mouth.

"Now 'bocchan', don't struggle." This was an unfamiliar voice, but Ciel knew he had heard it before. The stranger started tieing his hands together.

"Sebastian!" Ciel yelled loudly. Unfortunately the black butler was nowhere to be seen.

"Tsk, tsk. Your butler isn't coming to save you any time soon. He's half way across the world right now." The voice said mockingly. Ciel squirmed until he was on his back. He was surprised to see one of the detectives he had met earlier standing over him. The scruffy blonde hair and tight, black pants belonged to the one who had barely spoken at all through the whole meeting. However, he did recognize his intense stare from earlier.

"SEBASTIAN! THIS IS AN ORDER! GET- mph!" Ciel wasn't allowed to finish his sentence, for Mello's hand was clamped over his mouth.

"Now now, let's not try that again," he smiled, and looked down into Ciel's eyes. He admired the pentagram on his right eye, which was a pale purple-ish shade. "I think we know we don't want that." Ciel squirmed anxiously as Mello slipped him into a large chest, and closed the top. He was at least thankful Mello had put holes in the side, otherwise he probably would've suffocated.

* * *

Sebastian stiffened, it was that rare, but familiar sensation that made him pause.  
"Bocchan is in trouble," he growled and examined his surroundings. People were crushing in on all sides, the people at the boat dock rushed around trying to get to their ship or find their families.

Sebastian turned and left. His bocchan wouldn't be arriving by ship, anyway. As he stepped onto the road, a man with black hair and thin glasses who looked disturbingly like himself stepped out of the crowd and began following him. Sebastian stopped.

"Claude Faustus," he stated.

"Sebastian Michaelis," Claude smiled. Sooner than Sebastian could expect, he felt thin strands of silver coiling around his body. Claude walked closer to him, and whispered something into his ear.

"I wouldn't move if I were you. If you struggle, the thread will cut clean through your skin and it'll make an awful mess on this fine cobblestone." Sebastian growled, this was certainly a delay in rescuing the bocchan.

* * *

Ciel squinted his eyes as his surroundings suddenly changed, and a bright light was beaming into the chest. Mello was hovering over him, shirtless.

"Now that we're alone, I'll take this silly gag off." Mello said, slowly taking pulling it off. Ciel gasped, taking in a deep breath of air.

"Sebastian!" He yelled, but was stopped by Mello returning the gag.

"None of that," he glared at Ciel. "If you want the gag off." Ciel glared back at Mello, but gave him a look that told him he'd be silent.

"Good," Mello said, and pulling it away again.

"Though, that doesn't mean I don't want you to be quiet the whole time." He said as he pulled Ciel out of the box, and held him carefully in his arms. He stroked the younger boy's teal hair, and pulled playfully his puffy top.

"Now, we won't be needing this, will we?" Mello remarked, slowly pulling it off. Ciel squeaked as the cold air hit his body, as he wasn't wearing anything underneath. Mello lay Ciel down on the soft fur rug, one knee on either side of his hips, and pulled off his tight, black gloves with his teeth. Ciel whimpered slightly, which was something he didn't do often.

Mello smiled and leaned down. "Scared?" he whispered into Ciel's ear. Ciel sniffled slightly, trying to hold back the tears building up in his dark blue eyes. He leaned back again. Mello glanced down at Ciel's lower half and shook his head.

"This won't do, these pants are getting in the way." He slid his fingers slowly into his waistband. He pulled them down a little, carefully watching Ciel.

Ciel stared at what Mello was doing, blushing more as he continued. He squirmed slightly, trying to resist in all ways possible. Mello smiled, and pulled his pants the whole way off. He put one hand on the floor next to Ciel's head and leaned on it.

"Now, if you behave, this won't hurt at all," he said. Ciel whimpered, and Mello ran his hand down his side. Mello gasped loudly as a silver blade pierced his stomach. Ciel glanced up.

"Wh-who are you?" Ciel had tears in his eyes. The newcomer's blue eyes stared down at him and Ciel blushed, realizing that he was naked, and Mello's blood was dripping down onto his chest. The other figure was only slightly taller than Ciel himself. He was wearing a black suit, booty shorts, and tall purple boots.

"Alois Trancy," he answered. Alois examined Ciel's body. He smirked at how weak Ciel looked.

"Uh..." Ciel squirmed. "Can I have some clothes?"

* * *

Sebastian sighed, this was certainly a bothersome delay. He swung slightly from side to side, as he was hanging inches away from a deep container of water. He probably wouldn't drown, but his suit would undeniably be ruined. Plus he knew Claude could do other things to him.

Claude smiled, and pulled a lever, which resulted in Sebastian being plunged into the water. He gasped as he realized the cold, and choked as his lungs filled with water. Claude pulled the lever to bring him above the surface again. Sebastian coughed and panted slightly, trying not to show his discomfort at all. He glanced at his side, and noticed his pocket watch had stopped ticking.

"I'm sorry, you'll probably never be able to wear this suit again," Claude smirked. As Sebastian opened his mouth to make a comeback, Claude pulled the lever again. Sebastian prepared himself for the cold rush as he was plunged back into the icy water. Again, after what felt like ages, he was lifted out of the water.

He glared into Claude's face. "What do you want?" he growled, trying to look threatening. How had he gotten himself into this situation anyway?

"Isn't it obvious?" Claude said teasingly.

"Not especially," Sebastian glared at him. "Do tell."

"I want you, Sebastian," Claude smiled suggestively. Sebastian shuddered slightly.

"That's positively revolting," Sebastian's eyes turned pink and narrowed, his nostrils flaring slightly.

"Oh, that hurts," Claude smiled and pushed the lever one more time. When Sebastian was pulled out, Claude stepped forward. "Think you can do what I say?"

Sebastian nodded unhappily. Claude gave him a crude smile, and glanced up at Sebastian.

"Good. Now Sebastian, firstly you do not have a contract at this moment. Do you understand me?"

"That's not true," Sebastian said. "I have the bocchan and-"

"YOU DO NOT HAVE A CONTRACT WITH ANYONE," Claude yelled.

Sebastian shook his head and then nodded. "I do not have a contract with anyone..." he monotoned.

"Good." Claude said, unhooking Sebastian from the tank.

"Now next you'll have to do everything I tell you to, alright?" Claude looked into Sebastian's eyes. Sebastian nodded, without even realizing, Sebastian was becoming more and more submissive every minute.

Claude stepped forward. "Form a contract," He ordered. "with me."

"Impossible," Sebastian answered immediately.

"Not impossible, unheard of," Claude smiled. "Do it or I'll kill you."

"All right..." Sebastian closed his eyes. His right hand was freed, and he reached out and touched Claude's neck. "Here?"

Claude nodded. A searing pain cut through his neck and he collapsed. Sebastian's pentagram slowly formed on the right side of his neck. He stood up a moment later.

"My first order," He smiled and undid his belt. He pulled down his pants and glanced down at Sebastian.

"Lick," he commanded. Sebastian bent down onto one knee, and placed his hand across his chest.

"Yes, My Lord," he said as he slipped Claude's member into his mouth. Claude gasped softly at the sensation of his member entering Sebastian's warm, damp mouth. Sebastian's skilled tongue darted over Claude's member. Sebastian slowly pulled it out, and gave it another long lick.

"What next, My Lord?"


	4. Black Rock Shooter

Short chapter is short, but the next chapter is LONG. oAo the song for this chapter is Black Rock Shooter by Miku Hatsune.

* * *

Chapter 4

Ciel opened his eyes. He was curled up on his side in a landscape he didn't recognize. He sat up, and looked around. It was dark, and there was an ocean that seemed to stretch out for all eternity in front of him. He looked above him and saw the sky was cloudy, and it was silent.

Behind him, Ciel heard the distant, yet loud noise of metal clashing against metal. He spun around and saw two girls battling on top of a huge rock.

The girl with the scythe ordered two giant, glowing green skulls to attack the other girl.

Her left eye was covered by a blue flame. Ciel reached up and touched his eye-patch, which concealed his contract with Sebastian. "Oi!" he said loudly. Neither girl noticed.

"OI!" Ciel barked, as loud as possible. The girls turned, and noticing him, jumped towards him.

The girl who had been controlling skulls landed first, about five feet from Ciel, and she jumped again. Ciel looked up and saw her scythe coming towards his head at top speed, and closed his eyes tightly. Instead of the pain he had been expecting, he heard the clash of metal inches from his skull.

He looked up to see that the girl with the flaming eye had blocked the scythe and effectively stopped it from killing him.

Ciel collapsed, and the girl with her eye on fire spoke.

"Death Master."

"Eh?" The girl, apparently named Death Master smiled. It shocked Ciel how similar her smile was to Sebastian's.

"Stay away from him," The fire on her eye seemed to intensify. Death Master smiled wider and nodded.

"Another time, perhaps," She jumped and was gone almost immediately.

"Wh-who are you?" Ciel stuttered, looking up at the girl, whose flame had gone out, revealing blue eyes a few shades lighter than his own.

"My name is Black Rock Shooter," She said quietly. "You're in the shinigami realm."

"Shinigami?" Ciel paled. "Oh no, not like Grell, Will and that weird thing that ate all my apples?"

"It seems you are acquainted with some of the reapers." Black Rock Shooter smiled. "And Ryuk, too." Ciel sighed.

"You know them?"

"Well, yes," Black Rock Shooter pulled Ciel to his feet. "This is their home, after all." She said, motioning for him to follow her.

"Does that mean you're a shinigami too?"

"Surprisingly, not everyone who lives, or visits the shinigami realm is a Shinigami. Some people who live here are referred to as 'others.'" She explained. Ciel nodded.

"You're an other?"

"Yes," Black Rock Shooter said.

"What exactly is an other anyways?"

"Anyone living in this realm that is not a shinigami or a reaper," Black Rock Shooter smiled. "Death Master and I are others."

"How do you get out of the Shinigami realm?" Ciel asked, scanning his surroundings briefly.

"There are... windows to the human world that shinigami can use when they want to go down," Black Rock Shooter explained. "I've never seen one, but I've heard reapers talking about them."

"Do you think you could find one for me?"

"They're not that easy to find."

"Oh." Ciel fell silent. "How am I supposed to get out of here then?"

"I don't know," Black Rock Shooter sighed. "Maybe we can talk to some of the reapers and find out." Ciel shuddered slightly, he hoped they wouldn't have to talk to Grell.

"Could we avoid that red shinigami, Grell, by any chance?" Ciel begged. Black Rock Shooter laughed.

"Hah, I wouldn't take you to him anyway."

"Who else is there?"

"There are plenty of reapers. This is the shinigami realm after all." She retorted. Ciel thought silently for a long moment,

"Can anyone enter the Shinigami realm?" Ciel asked.

"No, I believe you need to be sent here by a reaper," Black Rock Shooter thought about that for a moment. "Come to think about it, how did you get here?"

"Um... A blonde kid stabbed this man who had kidnapped me... and then I just came here."

"Blonde... Do you know if it was Ronald Knox or Alois Trancy?" Black Rock Shooter asked.

"Maybe Alois... He had a sword," Ciel tried to remember what exactly had happened. The kid had stabbed Mello, who had been...

"Ah, if he had a sword, then it was Alois," Black Rock Shooter smiled. Ciel tried to wrap his mind around this, how did Alois even become a shinigami?

"We should go try and find him, then. I think I might know where he is." She said, and started trailing off. Ciel walked quickly by her side.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"We're going to find Alois Trancy of course," She said, giving Ciel a friendly smile.


	5. Ghost Party

:D yaaaay~ the song for this one is Ghost Party by GallowS

* * *

Chapter 5

Light Yagami floated down onto the rough ground, straightened up and looked around.

He was back in the shinigami realm, after a long trip to earth. Light headed straight to his friend's place and knocked on the door.

Death Master opened the door. "Light!" She exclaimed, her face unusually bright. Light smiled and wrapped his arms around her.

"I missed you," he said. Light had had to deal with Misa, Takada, Near, and trying to throw off the rest of the detectives. Being god was a full-time job, and it was nice to get away for once.

"How've you been?" Light asked as he walked into the dimly lit room.

"Fine," Dead Master said dully.

"That's good," Light replied. He had been hoping for a bit more of an interesting answer.

"Hey Light," Dead Master started, turning around slightly.

"Yeah?"

"Could you do me a favor?"

"And what would that be?"

"I want you to kill someone."

"I would be happy to, for you." Light smiled. "Who is it?"

"Just someone I know," Dead Master sat down at a desk.

"I meant what's their name?"

"She's known as Black Rock Shooter," Dead Master smiled darkly.

"I need her true name to kill with the death note. I also need to see her face."

"Tsk," Dead Master spun around to face the wall. "I guess I'll have to kill you..." She pulled out her scythe and smiled threateningly.

"Alright, alright! We'll find her then." Light mumbled.

"How exactly do you plan on doing that?" Dead Master retorted.

"We need to go to the Shinigami Library, and find her cinematic record."

"How are we going to get in? It's not like we're shinigami."

"I suppose we're going to have to sneak in then."

"...ah."

* * *

Dead Master peeked around the corner at the Shinigami Library

"So, when should we enter?" Dead Master asked as she turned back around and reverted her attention to Light.

"After that guy exits the building," Light said, pointing to a shinigami that was dressed all in red. The two waited patiently for a good twenty minutes, but it appeared the shinigami was not about to leave.  
"He must be on duty or something. I suppose we have no choice but to sneak past him," Light grumbled.

Grell Sutcliff leaned against the side of the building. He glanced down at his fingernails impatiently.

"That damn Ronald, he said he'd take the shift over in ten minutes but it's been twenty!" He whined. "Oh?" Grell smiled, his shark-like teeth showing.

"My handsome man radar is pulsing!" He cried happily. Grell's eyes scanned the surroundings until he located Light and Dead Master sneaking over.

"What's a handsome man like you doing here?" Grell asked, disappointed as Light ran straight past him.

"Hey!" He cried. Light turned the corner and led Dead Master over to the library section.

"So you've been to the library before?" Dead Master contemplated.

"Yeah, once or twice. Now the cinematic records are sorted alphabetically by last names. So Misa's should be early in the first section." Light said as he started scanning the rows.

"Aa.. Ac... An... Am.. Ama.. Amane!" He exclaimed. He pulled the book out from the shelf, and examined it. The fine text started writing,

"Misa started turning on the corner of Waltson Ave as a truck started streaking down the street."

"Wait... What?" It then struck him.

"Please look, please look, please look..." he muttered to himself.

"Misa started walking along the walkway, and then-"

"SHE DIDN'T LOOK."

"She looked to her right, and her eyes widened. She didn't have time to react before she was hit by a truck. END."

Light stared at the book, speechless. "she... that was unintentional, right?"

Dead Master watched Light, jealously.

"I suppose so. I don't see any way that would've been a suicide." Dead Master said.

"I guess you're right. That means there's only one way to contact her."

"How do you contact someone who's dead anyways?"

"We need to get someone to take us to Mu."

"Know anyone who can do that?"

"No... Do you know anyone who might?"

"I... I think I might..." Dead Master looked at the floor. "She might be willing to help, especially if it gets rid of Black Rock Shooter..."

"Who?" Light asked sternly.

"Her name is Black Gold Saw, she's an other like me and Black Rock Shooter."

"Know where she might be?"

"I have a few ideas."

"Let's go, then."

Light pushed Misa's book back into the shelf, and followed Dead Master out of the Shinigami Library.

Dead Master and Light snuck back around the corner and headed down the hallway to the entrance. Light noticed that the red shinigami was talking to another shinigami at the entrance.

'Perfect, they should be distracted as we sneak out,' Light thought to himself.

"I'm sorry Sutcliff-sempai!" Ronald said, rubbing the back of his head.

"The job I was on took a little longer than I had planned."

"Thirty minutes longer than it was supposed to! That's too long!" Grell scolded him.

"Whatever, just take your shift." He mumbled, walking back into the building as Light and Dead Master walked past.

"Thank you Sutcliff-sempai!" Ronald called back.

Dead Master sighed as they waited for someone to answer at Black Gold Saw's house.

"This is humiliating... asking for help from her."

"I'm sure, but it's necessary now."

Dead Master sighed. "I know..."

The door swung open to reveal a girl with short white hair, and large mechanical arms.

"Strength? What on earth are you doing here?" Dead Master hissed.

"I should be asking you the same question," The shorter other retorted.

Light watched awkwardly as the two girls glared at each other. A girl in black and red came to the door. "Strength? Who's there?" She fell silent when she saw Dead Master.

"Um... hey." Light said, attempting to break up the awkward atmosphere. All three girls turned to look at him.

"And who are you?" Strength practically spit on him.

"Light Yagami," Light stated quickly. "We need to ask a favor of you."

"Why exactly should we help you?" Black Gold Saw asked.

"We're trying to get rid of someone named Black Rock Shooter," Light announced.

Strength and Black Gold Saw's eyes widened a little.

"How exactly do you plan on doing that?" Strength asked skeptically.

"With my Death Note," Light explained.

"You don't even know her real name though," Black Gold Saw replied.

"And that's why we need your help," Dead Master cut in. "Do you know how we can get to Mu?"

"Mu? Why do you need to go there?" Black Gold Saw asked, with a puzzled look on her face.

"It's a long story. We just need someones help, but they're in Mu. Do you know how we can get there?" Light asked.

"I do think I know someone who can help you..." Black Gold Saw's expression turned to a frown.

"Who is it?" Dead Master asked, motioning for her to go on.

"His name is Ash. The last time I saw him he said he had moved into "the old Trancy estate."" Black Gold Saw explained.

"Trancy?" Light murmured.

"According to him, it's where an old royal line used to live. It is a little past the shinigami dispatch society."

"Perfect," Light smiled.

"Why don't you come inside?" Black Gold Saw asked, stepping back from the entrance. Strength spun around first, and stepped heavily into the kitchen. Light and Dead Master walked in after her. To their left, next to the door, Light noticed Strength's huge mechanical hands.

Black Gold Saw led them into a kitchen. The decor was black, and there was a red table in the middle of the room. Strength threw herself down in one of the chairs.

Light and Dead Master cautiously sat down.

"So, you never told us why you're here." Dead Master asked, turning her attention towards Strength. Black Gold Saw blushed. "th-that's not really important right now!"

Dead master grinned. "I think it is." she leaned forward.

"Strength was just visiting, that's all." Black Gold Saw mumbled, turning her face slightly.

Strength buried her face in her arms. Black Gold Saw looked at the ceiling.

Light glanced between each of the girls, and then spoke to break the silence.

"Don't you think we should be going?" He whispered to Dead Master.

"No, of course not! This is too much fun!" Dead Master shrieked.

"But you know, the sooner we leave, the sooner I can kill Black Rock Shooter."

"Ah... Yeah..." Dead Master hung her head.

"Yeah..." Light looked around again.

"Thanks for having us," Light said, getting back up. Dead Master followed his lead, and stood up.

"That was a... short visit..." Black Gold Saw stood up. Strength turned around and ran out of the room, careful to avoid anyone's eyes.

"Thanks for the help," Dead Master said.

"Happy to help," Black Gold Saw said. "Especially if it takes care of Black Rock Shooter."

"It will, I promise," Dead Master smiled. "Let's go, Light."

Dead Master quickly walked out the door, Light following closely behind her.

"Shall we go, then?" Light asked.


	6. Insult Kiss Me

aaaaand ENTER: Bakemonogatari characters! The song for this chapter is Insult Kiss Me by Deathgaze

* * *

Chapter Seven

Ciel Phantomhive looked down at his plain, brown loafers. He was back on the streets of London again. Sebastian, his butler, was nowhere in sight. Black Rock Shooter, was nowhere in sight either. He walked down the uneven cobble path. He could hear a loud clammering from an alleyway up ahead.

"Hey! Are you okay?" A familiar voice called out. Ciel paused before walking a bit faster to peer down the alleyway. He saw Mato, the girl he had seen a couple days ago, hovering over the body of an older girl. Blood was seeping from her cold corpse. He also noticed that there was another figure hovering over the two girls. He had a long purple frock coat, and scruffy blonde hair. He was gripping a silver blade that was dripping with, what Ciel assumed to be the girl's blood. He was watching a cinematic record- the movies of dead humen's lives.

"Alois!" Ciel called, running forward. The blonde turned around briefly before seemingly disappearing into thin air. He stood there for a moment, his hand still extended in the air. He then looked back down at Mato. There was a certain feel about her, it reminded him of Black Rock Shooter…

"What are you doing here?" He asked. Mato glanced up,

"oh it's you Lord Phantomhive..." she said, and stood up so she was level with him.

"Me and a friend got seperated. I was trying to find her when I saw this poor girl had gotten hit by a truck." She explained.

"She got hit by a truck? I thought she got stabbed though." Mato glanced down at the girl's body.

"I don't see any stab markings, what made you think she was stabbed?" She asked.

"Oh? Nevermind then," Ciel murmured.

"But, who was that kid who was in here?" Ciel asked.

"Oh, he was someone who used to live in my neighborhood. But he moved here awhile ago," Mato explained.

"Ah. Do you know his name?" Ciel asked.

"Yeah, his name is Oz Vessalius."

"Oh... thanks." Ciel said, looking down at his feet.

"Say, do you know anything about Bla-" Ciel's words slowly began to fade.

"Do I know anything about what?" Mato asked.

"It's nothing."

"You can tell me, I won't mind," Mato said with a smile.

"Forget it," Ciel said in a irritate tone.

"Okay, but just know that I'll always answer your questions." Mato stated with a friendly face.

"I should get going now, it was nice seeing you," Ciel said as he turned around.

'That must've been the last soul Alois needed to collect. Now I'm stuck in London without Sebastian or Black Rock Shooter...' Ciel contemplated his situation for a moment.

"I need to find a way to get back to the shinigami realm."

Ciel walked through the streets of London, contemplating how to return to the shinigami realm so he could see Black Rock Shooter.

"The shinigami realm has to connect to the earth somewhere..."

A teenage boy with black hair that covered one eye looked at him strangely. Ciel chose to ignore him and kept talking to himself.

"Maybe someone can help me..." He looked around. The other boy approached Ciel, smiling.

"Need some help?"

"Um... nothing you can help with."

"How do you know?"

"It's a rather uncommon problem."

"That's actually what I'm good at," The boy smiled. "My name's Araragi Koyomi, nice to meet you."

"...Ciel Phantomhive."

Araragi smiled again. "Come with me, I know someone who can help with almost any problem."

Ciel looked at Araragi cautiously. "And who would that be?"

"He's a priest."

"I don't believe in religion."

"It's not like that, come on."

And with that, Araragi led Ciel across london.

Ciel looked up at the abandoned school building. "so..."

"He should be here," Araragi pointed at the door. "Follow me."

Ciel followed him into the building, and up some stairs. As they rounded a corner, Ciel thought he caught a glimpse of a little girl in a white dress and a helmet.

Araragi pushed open a door at the top of the stairs, and the two of them entered a dimly-lit room.

A man with spiky blonde hair looked down on them from the top of some stacked desks. "Ah, Araragi-kun. Nice to see you."

Araragi nodded. "Same to you, Oshino-san."

"I see you brought another little girl to me for help."

"I'm not a girl!" Ciel spoke up.

"Ah, it is rather hard to tell in this light," Oshino said lightly.

"Oshino, this is Ciel Phantomhive, Ciel this is Meme Oshino," Araragi announced in a bored sounding voice. Ciel nodded.

"Nice to meet you," he said.

"What do you need help with?" Oshino asked, going straight to the point.

"I need to get to the shinigami realm," Ciel said.

Black Rock Shooter sat patiently outside the Shinigami Dispatch Society Headquaters. She expected that Ciel would've found Alois by now.

"What's taking so long? Surely he should've been able to find Alois by now..." She mumbled to herself. She then noticed a tall blonde dressed in a black suit. She looked a little harder at him and was able to recognize him as Alois Trancy.

Alois walked towards her, as she was sitting near the entrance of the building. Black Rock Shooter stood up and jogged over to him. "Hey!" Alois glanced over at her, not sure if she was yelling at him or not.

"Hey!" Black Rock Shooter stopped a few feet from Alois. "While you were in the human realm, did you talk to a boy with blue hair and an eyepatch?"

Alois considered the question for a moment. "I might have seen him, didn't talk to him though."

"Do you know who he is though?" Black Rock Shooter asked in a desperate kind of way.

"Why do you care?" Alois asked. He stared into her blue eyes in a way that made Black Rock Shooter almost afraid.

"He said he was looking for you," she explained. Alois smiled.

"oh? And do you know why, exactly?"

Black Rock Shooter thought about that. "uhm... not really..."

"Well, in that case," Alois looked away for a second. "Tell him if it's anything important, I work here most days, hang around and you'll find me." He then turned away from Black Rock Shooter and walked away.


	7. Shinigami Haken Kyoukai no Theme

Sorry it took so long to update... we really have no excuse xD the song for THIS one is Shinigami Haken Kyoukai no Theme from the Kuroshitsuji Musical II

* * *

Dead Master looked down at her feet as she and Light walked through the shinigami realm.

"She said it was a little past the dispatch society, right?" Light asked.

"Yeah, that's right." Dead Master confirmed. She glanced up from the ground and looked at their surroundings. They were just a small ways away from the Shinigami Dispatch Society so they would be at the Old Trancy estate soon.

"How much farther could it be?" Light sighed. They followed a street past the Dispatch Society, and found that as they went on, there was an increasingly larger number of trees on the sides of the road.

After about another half hour of walking, they found themselves at a gate. The gate was conveniently already open. Light and Dead Master stopped and looked at each other.

"well... Let's go!" Dead Master barked impatiently, and stepped inside. Light followed her.

They walked up the middle of the yard and up onto the porch. Light reached up and knocked on the door.

After a few minutes, a woman in a white butler uniform opened the door. "Hello, may I help you?"

"Um, yes," Dead Master said. "We're looking for someone named Ash? Where is he?"

The woman smiled. "Right here," Right before their eyes, her feminine features disappeared and her face dissolved to look more masculine. "My name is Ash Landers, how may I help you?"

Light hesitated before speaking.

"We need to get to Mu." Ash laughed in a tone that could only be described as insanity.

"Mu? Why should I help you get to Mu?" There was an awkward silence before Dead Master stepped forward. She revealed the scythe that had been kept safe behind her arm.

"You'll help us, or you'll die." She hissed. Ash chuckled again,

"fine. I'll help you get to Mu, but only if you do me a favor." Dead Master grumbled.

"What do you want?" Light asked. Dead Master turned sharply on Light,

"why should we do him a favor?" She whispered sharply.

"Let's just help him. The sooner we get to Mu, the sooner I can kill Black Rock Shooter, right?" Light explained. Dead Master grumbled, and put her scythe away.

"What do you want?" Dead Master asked.

"I want you to bring me someone," Ash stated. Light glanced over at Dead Master,

"who?"

"Sebastian Michaelis."

* * *

Claude Faustus stepped out of the bedroom, and walked quietly to the dining hall. Sebastian was already waiting for him with the table already ready for breakfast.

"This morning's meal is Cajun Breakfast Casserole, with a scone, and a soothing white tea." Sebastian said, placing the tea cup in front of Claude's dining seat. Claude sat himself down, and gently sipped the tea.

"How utterly bland. However, it has such a soft, warm fragrance." He contemplated as he took another small sip from the cup.

"What are your plans for the day, master?" Sebastian asked.

"I was thinking you and I could spend some time together." Claude stated, with a dark smile.

"Yes, my Lord."

* * *

"Where is this, Sebastian Michaelis?" Light asked. Ash frowned, and then shrugged.

"I don't know. That's part of the job." He said with a half-deranged look.

"Find me Sebastian Michaelis and I'll get you to Mu," Ash said. With that the door slammed shut.

Dead Master turned to look at Light. "So what do we do now?"

"Obviously find this 'Sebastian'," Light sighed.

"I know that, the question is, how the hell do we do that?"

"Let's go back to the dispatch society and see if anyone knows..."

"Okay," Dead Master turned away from the door, and started walking toward the gate.

* * *

When Light and Dead Master arrived at the Shinigami Dispatch Society, they looked around for someone who would be able to help them.

The two of them stood in the center of a lobby that constantly had a reasonable number of shinigami there.

Dead Master was having a conversation with a girl who had cat ears and glasses. The girl had introduced herself to Light as Demon Cannon User.

Light didn't understand much of what they were saying, but it was something about whether Dead Master's scythe or Demon Cannon User's cannon was more effective in battle.

As they went on about that, comparing different theories they each had, Light looked around for someone that could assist their search for "Sebastian Michaelis." Out of the corner of hiseye he saw a grotesque, yet familiar figure: Ryuk.

"What are you doing here, Ryuk?" Light asked.

"I had nothing better to do. I was bored so I figured I'd swing by here." Ryuk said in his slightly monotone voice.

"Hey, Ryuk, do you know someone who can help me find someone?" Light asked. Ryuk chuckled.

"You know me Light, I won't help unless you've got something in it for me." Light grumbled, and reached into his book bag. After a minute of searching he pulled out what he had been looking for. One fresh, shiny apple.

"You tell me where I can find Sebastian Michaelis and I'll give you this apple." Ryuk gasped.

"Alright, Alright!" He exclaimed, grabbing at the apple.

"I can't help you find him, but I know someone who can." Ryuk said as he chewed happily on the apple.

"Who?" Light asked.

"Rem."


End file.
